I promise you there are NO books or classes of any sort that could have prepared me for motherhood. Being a MOM is the hardest job in the world. From birth to even the young age of 9 has it’s challenges. Some days I want to throw my hands up in the air and just scream. And there are the times I want to cry after my kids get on the bus in the morning because we had a tough morning or after I put them in bed at night because they know how to push my buttons.

Trying is an understatement when I tell you how hard it is to keep my patience from wearing thin and I swear I pray for patience almost on a daily basis.  My little gal, beautiful as can be, witty, spunky, smart, and downright hard headed teaches me a few daily lessons about my own self. I do have a lot to be thankful for. My children are different in so many ways. My oldest is a pleaser and the sweetest, with a hint of sneakiness. My youngest is like I said hard headed and will nag you until you want to pull all your hair out. However, my little gal is a snuggle queen and will lay on my lap with her sucky fingers and look up at me with the sweetest face and tell me I’m the best mommy in the world and my heart just melts for this little gal who struggles with the inside and out mood swings. I guess you can say she’s a typical 6 year old testing boundaries and being a kid.

My road to patience has been long but I do have a lot more than I’ve ever had. And I swear it has taken me going through some really tough times to get to where I am today and to know that my girls are in deed my life, my world. And it’s not that I didn’t think they were my world before but being a single mom has really given me some perspective on life. Life it just way too short. So, today when I was busy editing a session that desperately needed to get to a client I stopped and thought about my little gal who needed some love and attention and we played Old Maid. One of our favorite games in the house and was one of my favs growing up. My dad always used to place the Old Maid card a little higher than the rest so it was easier to draw from his hand. Now, my kids do the same thing. I often wonder if any other families laugh their butts off playing Old Maid and do the same thing we do?

I grew up feeling super independent and it’s what I’ve wanted for my girls. To be strong, sweet and well mannered young ladies. Especially when I drop them off at friend’s houses or at school. I can tell you that they are not always independent because I hear a lot of “mommy….come here”…like all day long! And they are only this little once but I will walk in to a room where they have called my name only to tell them to go get their own drink of water or string cheese. Yes, if looks could kill, I get them alright but you know what…you have two legs…so use them. I’ve been using mine since I was young.

It’s now morning time and I got too tired to finish my blog post last night. Imagine that, a tired mom. Yep…we too need “time out” and “rest time”, to refuel and do it all over again the next day. But you know what…I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world. There is nothing more important than having two little girls who are dependent on their mother and a mother who wants the world for them. I just want them to learn the life lessons along the way. The ones I am writing my very first book about. Although I’m still in the wee hours of my story, it’s one dedicated to my girls and other young gals and mom’s who feel the same struggles I have felt but have been unwilling to face them or admit to them head on. I have very rarely worried about what people think of me. I gave up on being “Super Woman” several years ago.

There is nothing more than I want for my girls is to have the security and happiness they deserve. I want them to feel beautiful in their own little ways and be independent young ladies who have the drive to be and do whatever they want in life. They deserve it. We ALL deserve it as woman to feel empowered. Here’s a quote of mine from a chapter in my book called “Empowering Our Daughters.” As I look into my little girls eyes I see a young soul who is eager to feel loved and the desire to be big. As her mother, I want nothing more than to make her feel loved and want her to stand tall. She needs to feel empowered to ALWAYS love herself and her Faith in God will take care of the rest. Being Brave is Scary, but a stunning quality in the youngest of girls. Sorry for the teaser, it just really went with my story about My Livie! Absolutely one of my favorite and most precious chapters thus far.

Well, I’m headed into this little gal’s room and saying a little prayer before I walk in that when I sneak into her bed to snuggle for a few minutes, she will wake up on the “right side of the bed.” I could write a chapter about this little gal waking up on the “wrong side of the bed” but I will spare you those battles.

Smiles, Ainsley

P.S. Beware!!! Don’t let these cute pictures of this gal fool you. She’s a real Stinker and I LOVE her to pieces!

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